Inside the Teacher's Lounge
by storyranger
Summary: Just what really goes on in the that most mysterious of places? How do they really decide who you get detention with? This and other questions will be answered... co written with Herald of tzeentch. Chapter 2 UP! Hiatus.
1. PrologueAuthor's Notes

Hey! **storyranger **here. This fic is something I thought up while talking to my friend, **Herald of tzeentch**. He and I will be co writing this fic:

Inside the Teacher's Lounge

An indepth look into that most mysterious of school locations, the teacher's lounge. May include OC's from both of our fics, but we'll give you a head's up if/when we do.

Hopefully, we're shootin' for one chapter every two weeks…again, hopefully. First chapter should be up by Monday!


	2. Chapter 1: The WebcamCoffee Break!

Hey all! This chapter contains the brief but un-confusing appearance of my OC Morgan. She is a member of the New Marauders, a group started by Fred, George, and Lee Jordan. Morgan's dad is an IT guy, so Hogwarts has internet now…

Chapter 1: The Webcam

"Hey guys! Check this out!"

"What is it?"

"It's a movie my cousins and I made. That's Matt in the kids' Hummer running over Lizzy, and that's Jonathan on the bike taking him to jail…"

They watched in silence for awhile, then Fred got an idea.

"Could we make one? With that webcam you got for grad?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

4 hours and several ideas later the New Marauders were sitting around the common room, stumped. They had made a few movies, but none of them really seemed…worthy.

"What now? Got any more big ideas, Rivers?"

"No, I'm fresh out. Shades? Tails?"

The twins responded in unison. "Negative. Roots?"

Morgan thought for awhile, then a malevolent grin spread across her face.

"Hey guys, hand me that map!"

"Uh oh. I know that look."

"What look."

"The look you get when you're planning something evil."

"Well, if you don't want in on it…"

"Oh no, we want in on it."

Morgan grinned again, and motioned them closer.

"Here's the plan."

* * *

"Alright, here we are."

"Now what?"

"Now we set up the camera. Then I stream the feed to my laptop."

"Then what?"

"Then we wait for them to do something interesting."

"And when they do?"

"That's when the fun begins."

* * *

The computer lab was packed two days later, with as many students crowded around each monitor as possible.

_Rivers, Roots, Shades, and Tails proudly present:_

_Coffee Break!_

The footage started with Professor Lupin walking in, looking around, and darting over to the counter at the side which held the coffee makers. Glancing behind himself again, he reached out and switched the decaf sign with the espresso. Then he calmly took a seat across the room and picked up a book.

The rest of the teachers filed in. McGonagall and Snape came first, arguing about one thing or another, followed by Flitwick, Trewlawny, and the Hagrid. A few others followed, with Professor Binns bringing up the rear.

Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick all moved over to the coffee counter. McGonagall took tea, while Snape filled a mug with "expresso". They talked for a moment more, then Snape took a sip. A look of disgust crossed his face, then he spit it out.

"What the heck is this? It tastes like…decaf."

A look of horror crossed his face. The students waited eagerly to see what would happen.

"Filius. Don't drink that! It's got caff-"

But it was to late. Flitwick had already drunk half.

"caffeine in it."

Flitwick stood still for a moment and then, suddenly, began jumping up and down and talking at the speed of light. McGonagall shook her head in exasperation. Snape turned around, and spotted Lupin in the corner. The whole school went silent, watching to see what Snape would do. You could have been in the dungeons and heard a pin drop in the Astronomy tower.

"REMUS!"

Lupin looked up as if nothing had happened. Snape's voice was dangerously quiet.

"Remus. John. Lupin. I. Am. Going. To. _KILL_ _YOU_!" All at once Snape lunged in Lupin's direction. Snape was surprisingly quick, but Lupin was faster. He sprang out of his chair and rocketed away. The entire student body was now laughing as they watched Snape chase Lupin around the staff room, while McGonagall yelled at them and the other teachers (including Flitwick, though he was still on the caffeine high) laughed.

"Severus! Remus! Stop this nonsense! Honestly! I thought you'd grown out of this behaviour!"

The two men continued to race around the room, oblivious to her cries, until the door opened once again and Dumbledore walked in.

"What in Merlin's name is going on in here?"

At the sound of their boss's voice, Lupin and Snape stopped running and stood looking rather sheepishly down at their shoes. Dumbledore looked slowly from one to the other, then over at Flitwick, who was still giggling madly in the corner, then back again.

"Do I need to ask what happened here?"

"No sir."

"Am I right in assuming that this will not happen again?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now Severus, it seems we're going to need some caffeine antidote. Maybe you should get started on that now."

"Right away sir." Snape answered curtly, and after sending one last death-glare in Lupin's direction, left the room.

"Now Remus, don't you have a lesson to plan or something?" He said it sternly, but there was a twinkle in his eyes and a slight smile on his lips.

"Yes sir. I'd better go do that now sir." Lupin was grinning from ear to ear. He turned to go.

"Oh, and Remus?" added Dumbledore, staring straight into the camera and smilling.

"Yes Professor?"

"Switch the signs back before you go." Lupin, still grinning, switched the signs and left the lounge.

Dumbledore continued to stare into the webcam for several more moments, then he winked and turned away, crossing to begin a disscusion with Professor McGonagall.

_You have been watching:_

_Coffee Break_

_A Trans-Atlantic Production_

The screen went blank, and the students went back to their work. But those heading by the Headmaster's office thought they could hear a low chuckle coming from within.

* * *

So, what do you think? Review and let us know!

PS: Check out my website (the link's in my profile) for pics and Morgan's Character Bio.


	3. Chapter 2: Bothering Minerva

So here it is! Chapter 2! Please R&R! And yes, the title (and the _**title **_alone) was inspired by the Potter Puppet Pals movie "Bothering Snape".

* * *

Chapter 2: Bothering Minerva

There had been a steady stream of kids flowing to and from the library all afternoon. Mme Pince would have like to believe that they had all come down with a sudden urge to study. Their clustering around the computers told her otherwise…

Yes, once again kids all over the school were clustered around the screens in hushed excitement

_Rivers, Roots, Shades and Tails proudly present:_

_Bothering Minerva_

McGonagall appeared on the screen, reading a magazine. She continued to read, and read, and read… just as the students were beginning to give up hope of anything interesting happening, Professor Snape burst in, visibly furious.

"Minerva!"

"Yes?"

"Someone's turned my entire supply of dried rattlesnakes into live King cobras!"

"How dreadful," replied McGonagall, not really listening. "Whatever shall be done?"

"I was hoping you'd have the answer! You _are_ the Transfiguration teacher!!!"

She sighed and put her book down.

_10 minutes later_

"Minerva?"

"Yes Filius?"

"Can you come get the biscuit tin out? I'm afraid I can't reach it… someone's put it on the top shelf…"

"For heaven's sake, Filius, you're the Charms teacher! Can't you just summon it?"

"I tried that! It's been stuck to the shelf!"

"Oh, fine then…" she got up on a stool and grabbed it. It wouldn't budge. "I think it's been glued… with super glue…"

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, just this bottle I found up here that says 'SUPER Glue'… It's not coming down anytime soon. Hand me that other tin."

Flitwick could, of course, do no such thing, and instead levitated it up to her. She transferred all the cookies from one tin to the other, got down, gave the tin to Flitwick, and picked up her magazine once again. She had just sat down when—

"Minerva!"

"What?!?"

"They need you in the Gryffindor tower. Something about an undead warlock blowing up the furniture? They sent me for you…"

"That'll do Remus. Tell them I'm on my way…"

_1 hour later_

McGonagall walked back on screen, visibly tired and annoyed. She sat down and started reading. Again.

And was interrupted. Again.

And again.

And again.

She had finally sat down after fixing crazed psychopathic furniture, getting some poor stupid first year out of a tree, settling a "major" dispute between Sir Nicholas and the Fat Friar, and believed she had secured a few minutes of peace when—

"Minerva?"

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN DO YOU PEOPLE WANT! CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO READ HERE? **ALL I WANT IS A FEW MINUTES OF SILENCE SO THAT I CAN **_**FINISH THIS ARTICLE IN PEACE**_**! IS THAT **_**TOO BLOODY MUCH**_** TO ASK?!?**"

"Of course not Minerva. I'll come back in a few minutes, when you've had a chance to finish…"

"Thank you Albu— Albus!?! I—"

"Not a problem Minerva. Your request was a very reasonable one. In fact, should anyone else wish to bother you this afternoon, you can send them to me and I'll try to be of service."

McGonagall's mouth was literally hanging open.

"Good day Minerva…"

_This has been:_

_Bothering Minerva_

_A Trans-Atlantic Production_

A sudden crash was heard outside. Apparently Peeves had teamed up with the undead warlock…

Several students screamed, and several more ran to get a teacher. But no one, no one tried to get Professor McGonagall…

* * *

All credit for a certain undead menace goes to Herald of tzeentch… 


End file.
